Monday, April 10, 2006

Like the Duck Says in the Commercial: "AFFLECK!"

Ben Affleck is full of surprises. On the positive, he is an Oscar Winner for his collaboration with his (much more talented) childhood friend Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting." He has even bedded such notable babes as Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Garner - with whom he remains. For now.

Recent Ben-Quote on Bill Maher: “(President Bush) probably also leaked Valerie Plame’s name and so if he did, you can be hung for that! That’s treason! You could be killed. That’s not a joking around Tom DeLay ‘I’ll do a year, I bribed the state officials with corporate money.’ That’s like they shoot you in the battlefield for doing that.”
But Affleck is also surprising in other, not so positive ways. For an Oscar Winner, the guy really stinks as an actor and is lucky to have had Damon's coat-tails to hold onto. I mean, come on! Pearl Harbor? Dare-Devil? Gigli? The guy who seemed to have such promise has been forced to look at other avenues. Poker? Okay - why not. Screen-writing? Hey, if it's better than his lame acting it's all good. Politics? WOAHHHH there Benny!? Let's look at that for a sec.

Didn't make it into Harvard with Matt, so he went to the University of Vermont - lasting one semester. He then got clearance from his Mom to fly off to Hollywood, so long as he stayed with family friends and got back into college. He lasted a year at Occidental College in Eagle Rock, CA before finally giving up on higher education. So much for the educational groundwork for politics.

While trying to help the Gore campaign in 2000 "get out the vote," Ben was so busy telling people to make sure and get to the polling stations in time that he never actually got around to voting himself (ya gotta love the Smoking Gun!).

In an interview with GQ magazine, Affleck had this to say:

"My fantasy is that someday I'm independently wealthy enough that I'm not beholden to anybody, so I can run for Congress on the grounds that everyday people—be they singers or poets or bankers or lawyers or teachers—should be in government."
Now is it just me, or did he equate becoming "independently wealthy" with "everyday people" in running for office? Certainly, his candidate for 2004 John Kerry would qualify - for one of those anyway. And doesn't it seem like Ben's support is sorta' like the kiss of death to these guys? Hmmmm. Here are some other choice quotes from our famous and not-so-bright Dumbass Of The Week:

"I'm always described as 'cocksure' or 'with a swagger,' and that bears no resemblance to who I feel like inside. I feel plagued by insecurity."
Looking at some of these gems of wisdom, I can see why!
"My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating."
Hmmmmm - the Mom thing again. I see a pattern developing here....can you say "Momma's Boy?"
"Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President."
Hey, don't laugh! This DUMBASS is actually thinking of running for Virginia Senator (Democrat, of course) in 2006 against incumbent George Allen. Hey, I SAID DON'T LAUGH!!! Just because Ben Affleck could not debate a pimple on Allen's ASS does not mean that people are not stupid enough to vote for him.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Cheryl said...

Chass, if I had read this article on Ben 5 years ago I would have been really mad at you! I was in total love with this guy and thought after Goodwill Hunting that he was a really great actor too.

Since then I have noticed lots of things that you pointed out in this article. He really is a bad actor, and a terrible pollitical commentator. My brother was in Iraq until last year with the Navy Seals, and every time I hear this asshole talk about the war I want to scream "so what did YOU do for this country?"

Thanks for a great and funny article. My brother Tommy wouldn't stop laughing when I showed it to him!

5:16 PM  
Blogger Timmer said...

Chazz -

Good one, buddy. Bennifer is a real piece of work - and a dumbass to boot!

3:54 PM  
Blogger Gun-Toting Liberal said...

If he's gonna run for office, he's gonna have to do something about the "arm thing". When the guy talks, he looks like a frigging windmill. He needs to learn the "thumb thing", where you point the flesh of your thumb toward the audience, but the rest of the time, your arms are motionless...

He's got a lot of work to do if he stands a chance ;-)

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Lisa Gilliam said...

Your right Chazz,judging by these statements,he is a real pipsqeak,and in your words a dumbass.And the fact that he is a momma's boy doesn't help him either!

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Lisa Gilliam said...

Got a great choice for your next dumbass of the week,Chazz,and they would be the jurors in the Moussaui trial.Talk about stupidity and being huge suckers of the highest order them and that ass of a judge deserve that this week.

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