Like the Duck Says in the Commercial: "AFFLECK!"

Ben Affleck is full of surprises. On the positive, he is an Oscar Winner for his collaboration with his (much more talented) childhood friend Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting." He has even bedded such notable babes as Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Garner - with whom he remains. For now.

Recent Ben-Quote on Bill Maher: “(President Bush) probably also leaked Valerie Plame’s name and so if he did, you can be hung for that! That’s treason! You could be killed. That’s not a joking around Tom DeLay ‘I’ll do a year, I bribed the state officials with corporate money.’ That’s like they shoot you in the battlefield for doing that.”

But Affleck is also surprising in other, not so positive ways. For an Oscar Winner, the guy really stinks as an actor and is lucky to have had Damon's coat-tails to hold onto. I mean, come on! Pearl Harbor? Dare-Devil? Gigli? The guy who seemed to have such promise has been forced to look at other avenues. Poker? Okay - why not. Screen-writing? Hey, if it's better than his lame acting it's all good. Politics? WOAHHHH there Benny!? Let's look at that for a sec.

Didn't make it into Harvard with Matt, so he went to the University of Vermont - lasting one semester. He then got clearance from his Mom to fly off to Hollywood, so long as he stayed with family friends and got back into college. He lasted a year at Occidental College in Eagle Rock, CA before finally giving up on higher education. So much for the educational groundwork for politics.

While trying to help the Gore campaign in 2000 "get out the vote," Ben was so busy telling people to make sure and get to the polling stations in time that he never actually got around to voting himself (ya gotta love the Smoking Gun!).

In an interview with GQ magazine, Affleck had this to say:

"My fantasy is that someday I'm independently wealthy enough that I'm not beholden to anybody, so I can run for Congress on the grounds that everyday people—be they singers or poets or bankers or lawyers or teachers—should be in government."

Now is it just me, or did he equate becoming "independently wealthy" with "everyday people" in running for office? Certainly, his candidate for 2004 John Kerry would qualify - for one of those anyway. And doesn't it seem like Ben's support is sorta' like the kiss of death to these guys? Hmmmm. Here are some other choice quotes from our famous and not-so-bright Dumbass Of The Week:

"I'm always described as 'cocksure' or 'with a swagger,' and that bears no resemblance to who I feel like inside. I feel plagued by insecurity."

Looking at some of these gems of wisdom, I can see why!

"My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating."

Hmmmmm - the Mom thing again. I see a pattern developing here....can you say "Momma's Boy?"

"Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President."

Hey, don't laugh! This DUMBASS is actually thinking of running for Virginia Senator (Democrat, of course) in 2006 against incumbent George Allen. Hey, I SAID DON'T LAUGH!!! Just because Ben Affleck could not debate a pimple on Allen's ASS does not mean that people are not stupid enough to vote for him.

Rep. Cynthia McKinney "Racing" to be Our Dumbass!

In a story that just keeps getting better and better, Georgia Democrat Cynthia McKinney shows her "true colors" in an extraordinarily transparent attempt to get away with assaulting a white Capitol Hill police officer. She's not just "playing a race card" - it would seem that her entire hand is made up of them!

For those who somehow don't know, last Wednesday Congresswoman McKinney attempted to skirt a security checkpoint while entering a House Office Building - without her congressional identification pin and despite repeated calls from the policeman manning the post to stop. After the cop stopped her progress with a hand on her shoulder, McKinney lost her temper - then SLAPPED THE COP!

Since then, the Capitol Police Force have asked the Federal Government to issue an arrest warrant for assault - which is still pending at this time. McKinney, scrambling to counteract this looming threat to her political career, has decided to invoke her perceived God-given right as a black woman to play victim of a "racist white cop."

Her first public statement about the incident - before learning of the planned arrest warrant: "Earlier today I had an unfortunate confrontation with a Capitol Hill Police Officer....I was urgently trying to get to an important meeting on time to fulfill my obligations to my constituents. Unfortunately, the Police Officer did not recognize me as a Member of Congress and a confrontation ensued. I did not have on my Congressional pin but showed the Police Officer my Congressional ID. I know that Capitol Hill Police are securing our safety, that of thousands of others, and I appreciate the work that they do. I deeply regret that the incident occurred. I have demonstrated my support for them in the past and I continue to support them now."

ALMOST sounds like an apology - but not quite accepting responsibility for her actions. Reading this, you wouldn't think she had actually bitch-slapped a cop.

On the defensive - from her (civil rights) attorney James Myart on Thursday: “Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, like thousands of average Americans across this country, is, too, a victim of the excessive use of force by law enforcement officials because of how she looks and the color of her skin. Ms. McKinney is just a victim of being in Congress while black...Congresswoman McKinney will be exonerated.”

Does this remind anyone else of an impetuous young child, who smacked another child for no reason and is now desperately trying to shift blame to that child for something much worse? What, are we FIVE?!

In a statement posted to the internet (which she has retracted and/or denies), McKinney wrote: "Do I have to contact the police every time I change my hairstyle? How do we account for the fact that when I wore my braids every day for 11 years, I still faced this problem, primarily from certain white police officers"

Now, I ask you gentle readers -- compare the image in this article with that in the "Dumbass" graphic at the top. Seems to have changed her hair from Alfalfa to Buckwheat, her make-up from Oprah to Whoopi. Am I wrong? Would you have recognized this woman (out of 535 Capitol Hill politicians) blowing past YOUR checkpoint without her Congressional Pin?

She has cried out for assistance from the ACLU, Danny GLover, Harry Belefonte, and the entirety of the Georgia Black Whiners Society (or whoever they are) and others, because this incredible moron is just smart enough to realize one thing -- she could go to jail for smacking a cop. But the SILENCE IS DEAFENING from the forty-something other black members of Congress. NOT A SINGLE ONE has stepped up to help her out on this one!

Hey, you can't make this crap up any better than this - but it gets even better.

A local Atlanta news station found something else! "Channel 2 Action News has uncovered documents showing McKinney, D-Ga., spent about $1,000 of taxpayer's money to fly singer Isaac Hayes to Georgia to help dedicate a new office in Atlanta. The money came from a fund members of Congress are supposed to use for office supplies. (This is a) violation of strict congressional rules..."

Of course, McKinney's staff has immediately come forward to say that they will reimburse this fund for this "oversight."

In all of this, I have been very curious as to what exactly was this idiotic woman's almighty hurry on a Wednesday afternoon? What does she do, exactly, in order "to fulfill (her) obligations to (her) constituents?" Here are two examples of this Congresswoman's "important works:"

1) Chaired a Congressional hearing last year "on whether the Bush administration was involved in the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001."

2) Introduced into the House of Representatives the Tupac Shakur Records Release Act of 2006 "for the purpose of fully informing the American people about the history surrounding the life and death of ("gangsta" rapper) Tupac Amaru Shakur."

Had enough? Many of the folks in the Fourth District of Georgia have too. According to one outraged constituent:

"She has long been known for things like advocating for disastrous Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe who ran white farmers off their land, turning the country from a breadbasket to a basket case; cozying up with and receiving campaign donations from all kinds of terrorist sympathizers; indulging in the anti-Jewish hatefest at an infamous conference in Durban, South Africa in 2001 even after the U.S. withdrew most of its participation; and for having a blatantly anti-Semitic father in the Georgia State Legislature whose prejudices just may have rubbed off on her."

Hmmm - all this kinda' makes you wonder. Going back to the incident on Wednesday, who exactly is the racist? A diligent Capitol Hill Policeman - who happens to be white? Or a joke of a congresswoman who considers herself above the commoners - who happens to be black?