Sunday, January 29, 2006

You Picked Her! Our 2005 Dumbass Of The YEAR!

After over a month of polling, you chose Cindy Sheehan as the absolute Biggest Dumbass for the year 2005!
With 45% of the vote, Cindy easily defeated the competition, with Screamin' Howard Dean coming in a distant second place with just 14% of the vote. Then came Jimmy Carter with 12% and Nasty Pelosi with 8%.

Now that Cindy has fully embraced her Moonbatism, she has visited with sworn enemies of our state (Hugo Chavez), has demanded Hillary Clinton denounce the War or lose the next senarorial election, and now has threatened to run for the Senate herself! Clearly, the long-ago expended 15 minutes of infamy were not enough for this mad cow. Casey (a hero who deserves much better) continues to roll in his grave.

Dearest Cindy: Without delving further into your misadventures, we simply congratulate you on winning this honor, and sincerely wish you all the worst possible luck with your current endeavors.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Teddy Finally Makes It ~ The Kennedy Dumbass

So WHY NOW WITH TEDDY? While there are plenty of reasons to name Ted Kennedy the DOTW virtually EVERY week of the year, I have resisted - knowing that if there was ever a slow week for DUMBASSES I could always count on Ted.

Now, as intimated above, Ted Kennedy is definitely low-hanging fruit in the world of dumbass detection. So, I'm not going to dig up old stuff, such as Chappaquiddick, where 29 year-old Mary Jo Kopechne, a secretary for his older brother Bobby, died at the hands of Teddy. Nope - not gonna go there. But YOU can - check out Y Ted K, a site that has more than you will ever want to know on this murder, ummm, accident.

One could easily write an epic novel-sized book to document the stupid shit said and done by this asshole. In recent memory, there were too many outrageously daft speeches Teddy gave during the 2004 campaign in support of fellow DUMBASS John Kerry to recount.

For instance, while Teddy has championed the estate tax and fought against tax shelters, he has repeatedly benefited from an intricate web of trusts and private foundations that have sheltered most of his family's fortune from the IRS. One Kennedy family trust wasn't even set up in the U.S., but in Fiji.

Another example: While he fought for the development of alternate energy sources, he opposed a plan to build a wind-power generating facility to provide clean, cheap power to Cape Cod. Why? The wind turbines would be constructed just off the coast from the Kennedy property in Hyannis - one of the family's favorite yachting and sailing areas.

Recently, his relentless attacks on the character of Samuel Alito concerning his once-documented affiliation with a "radical" conservative group at Princeton led to the disclosure of Teddy's own closet-banished-chauvenist organization, called the Owl Club, to which he has been a paying member for 52 years.

"I joined when I...52 years ago, I was a member of the Owl Club, which was basically a fraternal organization...I’m not a member; I continue to pay about $100." When asked about being a member of a club that practices sexual discrimination, he replied "I shouldn’t be and I’m going to get out of it as fast as I can."
Remember, THIS is the Senator who has "Grave and serious concerns" about Samuel Alito's character. BWAAA-HAHAHAHAHA!! It doesn't get any better than this, folks!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Hugo Chavez ~ A Despotic Dumbass

"Go get 'em, Hugo! I'm right behind you!"
In the latest chapter of Hugo-Naughtiness, Chavez has now accused the highest Cardinal in Venezuela of conspiring against him - this after the clergyman chided El Presidente for the erosion of democracy, and his path to dictatorship.

On the heels of recent headlines, in which has-been celebrity Harry Belefonte visited Chavez and called President Bush "the greatest tyrant in the world, the greatest terrorist in the world," Cardinal Rosario Castillo made his remarks during a Mass to mark the end of a holy procession attended by thousands in a cathedral in Barquisimeto, Venezuela.

"A government democratically elected seven years ago has lost its democratic path and shows signs of dictatorship, where all powers are in the hands of one person who exercises them in an arbitrary and despotic way."
Of course, Chavez was none too happy with that, as he pointed out in his weekly Sunday broadcast:

"This is part of a provocation, part of a conspiracy, there is nothing innocent about this. It is a plot to destabilize the country. I demand the Catholic hierarchy distance themselves from this - the least we can expect is for you to reject this man's comments."
He seems to have a real problem with any kind of criticism. In fact, it turns out that his democratic government has taken to writing some very undemocratic rules- to the point of criminalizing free speech that suggests dissent. Take Article 147:

"Anyone who offends with his words or in writing or in any other way disrespects the President of the Republic or whomever is fulfilling his duties will be punished with prison of 6 to 30 months if the offense is serious and half of that if it is light."
Gee, I wonder if Dumbass Belefonte knew that little detail of his new buddy?

Last week, an Episcopal Conference of Catholic Bishops released a report challenging Chavez's claims to have bettered the lives of the poor and expressing concerns over the fragility of the country's democracy.

Why is this shithead so popular with so many in Venezuela? Chavez has spent billions of dollars in oil revenues on social, education and health programs. But his critics say his seven years in power have failed to tackle poverty and chromic crime. They say Chavez has extended his control over independent institutions such as the courts and the electoral authority as he tightens his grip on power.

Quite the little master of the game, right? He even contrived to send oil to some of the poorest, Katrina-smacked sections of the Gulf Coast. Do you suppose he did this to help? His hatred for President Bush is only eclipsed by his arrogance, greed and deception. He is a NATURAL member of Liberal Hollywood society - a veritable pock-marked Ricki Ricardo wannabe kissing that Fidel ass, while dreaming of the day he can hold a truly great country like the United States hostage for oil.

As big a Dumbass as Pat Robertson is (as shown last week), I don't deny that his call for putting this evil bastard down is not necessarily a bad one.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Pat Robertson ~ Televangelistic DUMBASS Unhinged

"They should ALL DIE in the NAME OF GOD!"
The ONLY THING that pisses me off more than a Whiny Liberal-Treehugger-Pacifist, Bush-Hating Faggot is a TELEVANGELIST - and Pat Robertson is at the TOP of that list.

It's not that I disagree with everything the man says. He called for an assassination last August and, personally, I would LOVE to see a bullet find its way into Hugo Piece-O'-Shit Chavez. But a man in Pat Robertson's position should really watch his mouth - especially when it hurts conservative politicians that he publicly supports (guilt by association).

In this last blunder on Thursday, Reverend Dumbass decided to spout off during his 700 Club broadcast against Ariel Sharon - while the man is on his death bed:

"Here he's at the point of death. He was dividing God's land, and I would say woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the European Union, the United Nations, or the United States of America. God says: 'This land belongs to me. You'd better leave it alone.'"
What a MORON! What kind of complete dumbass is this guy? And what does 700-club stand for anyway -- make an ass out of yourself 700 times? This guy is working on it, apparently. Doesn't he know that it was Britain and the UN carved up Palestine/Israel and drew the borders. Then the Israelis themselves redrew this map following the Arab-Israeli War - and that is was NOT GOD?

Now, it's not that I am a huge supporter of Israel - but I will take them over their immediate (Read: "Arab") neighbors any day of the week. You want to draw conclusions? - be my guest, but I'm fairly confident that there have been no Israelis blowing up Americans lately - correct me if I'm wrong.

A word on "Televangelists" - I HATE these cocksuckers, with their self-righteous snake-oil salesman, fake-hair, scripted miracle healing BULLSHIT. I almost SHAT myself one night a few years back when I was channel-surfing and came across some Tele-DUMBASS. He was actually selling plastic viles of HOLY WATER! For some ridiculous price (like 19.99), this tiny tube of (probably tap-)water could heal the sick and dying.

It doesn't matter what color they are, Black and White - these con-men (and women) ALL deserve a bullet in the head. It pisses me off to see the folks that attend these things - they are usually poor and filled with desparation. And the folks at home, literally millions tune in 'religiously' and spend their welfare / social security money. And what do they get? Another lie, another letdown - and maybe another dead loved one who's last dime went for Benny Hinn's expensive Hair Transplant. Sick Fucks.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

NYT's Source for NSA Wiretaps ~ A Leaking DUMBASS!

"Hey! Wanna buy some SECRETS!?"
In yet another case involving leaked classified information, the New York Slimes will not reveal the Government Source who illegally informed them of President Bush's Secret Wiretaps on selected International Calls of suspected al-Qaieda TERRORISTS.

Oddly, the national media uproar is not over the leaking of Top Secret Information (such as with the outing of supposed Secret Agent Valerie Plame debacle), but rather is being directed at the President for trying to prevent another 9-11. WHAT THE HELL is wrong with THIS PICTURE?

"The N.S.A. program is a necessary program," stated the President on Sunday. "I was elected to protect the American people from harm. And on Sept. 11, 2001, our nation was attacked. And after that day, I vowed to use all the resources at my disposal, within the law, to protect the American people, which is what I have been doing and will continue to do."
So NOW, not only is President Bush in political hot water over taking the initiative to do his job to protect us, but now the Terrorist Cells in this country have been thouroughly briefed on what it is we do to catch them.

And if that isn't BAD ENOUGH, some incarcerated terrorists are planning to use this new information to have their cases overturned and THEN want to SUE THE PRESIDENT!!!

In borrowing a paragraph from a recent article over at Timmer's Righting America:

"How are we to wage the War on Terror without using our resources? We are slowly tying our hands in every facet of this fight - from regulating and publicizing our interrogation methods to curbing our own ability to use force - in this wacky, bizzaro-world of protecting the guilty and imperiling the innocent, there is a very real possibility that our nation will meet its ultimate doom by such madness (try to imagine 9-11 times TEN)."
And what about this unidentified DUMBASS who leaked the information? Having committed an act of Treason and (it can be argued) Espionage against the United States, where is the outrage? Why are we not in hot pursuit of this individual who, with the help of the equally treasonous New York Times, has singlehandedly done what no terrorist could ever do - he (or she) has played the mole for an organization that wants us all DEAD.